I’ve suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember. Not the kind where I can’t fall asleep, but it seems that I can’t STAY asleep. I’ve gone through periods of months where I’ve woken up every night at 2 a.m., finally falling asleep just in time for my alarm to go off. To further compound this problem, I’m a ridiculously light sleeper. Tiny bit of light from the alarm clock? I swear I can see it through my eyelids. Dust settling on the nightstand? Yep, I can hear it.
While I see no major bright side to this situation, I have to say I’ve noticed an interesting side effect. When I’m finally able to return to sleep, my dreams get weird. My dreams are normally weird, but these last minutes-before-waking dreams are nuts. I’ve also taken the time, in those lying awake hours to mentally run through a yoga class sequence…the alignment cues I’d give, the order in which I’d arrange the asana, the filler explanations. In a way, it’s kind of neat, in another, I just want to sleep, already!
That brings me to this morning’s pre-alarm clock dream. I was doing handstands. Lots of them, and very easily. In normal life, I cannot do an unsupported handstand and it’s been years since I’ve even kicked up to the wall (I have some unconquered fear of being upside down. I’m cool with headstands, but handstand makes me nervous. My palms sweat just thinking about it.) These handstand dreams have recurred with greater frequency the past few months. I’ve probably had 5 or 6 handstand dreams in that time period. I think these dreams are the greatest dreams I could have. I need to figure out a way to channel the confidence and ease I have in these dreams to real life. I love dreaming about yoga.